0 Choco Pies become a popular currency

Today being the first day of work/school for many people this year, let’s review odd news events of 2012, by far the most bizarre, weirdest year I can remember — since 2011, that is. In January last year, Japanese scientists created a car seat that memorized the driver’s bottom shape and refused to start if the wrong person was in the driving seat. But there were fears for post-holiday productivity. “Sorry boss, can’t come to work this week as my butt is too fat.” In February, three Japanese tourists in Australia obediently followed the instructions of a satnav machine and drove straight into the sea. 

In March, a thief in the UK was caught by a cop dressed as a giant banana. (The part-time police officer had two jobs, the second being in supermarket promotions.) Bananaman said of the thief: “He looked surprised.” In April, it was revealed that an Indian man named Ramu Shinde had been jailed for two years for a crime committed when he was behind bars. Prosecution: “Do you have a scrap of proof that you did not commit this crime?” Defendant: “Er, I was in a maximum security jail on the other side of town.” 

Prosecution: “Other than that?” Also in April, areas of North Korea adopted Choco Pies as a second currency. Factory workers started getting up to 10 chocolate-coated biscuit-and-marshmallow snacks a day, which they used for shopping, bartering and investment. In May, Mumbai air passenger Kamal Basha Ahmed, 23, leapt from seat 28D, overpowered a flight attendant, opened the plane door and stepped out — but the still-moving plane had just landed and the steps were not in place. In June, it was revealed that the Chinese province of Yunnan had started a Groupon-style bulk spouse import-export industry, with bargain rates for multiple spouses “in a single order”. 

The service proved popular with Yunnan peasant farmers. In July, it was revealed that the Asian testicle-biter fish was spreading around the world. Also in July, Malaysian education official Mohd Puad Zarkashi revealed that you can spot gay people trying to pass themselves off as normal humans by the fact that “they wear V-neck” tops. In October, newspapers said a woman had been murdered by her seafood appetizer, a live octopus. But the courts decided that her boyfriend Kim suffocated her and framed her dinner. The octopus declined to comment. 

Still in October, it was revealed that thousands of families in Assam, a state in the northeast of India, were growing super-hot chilis to sell to the British army for use in weapons. The same month, staff at Beijing Wildlife Zoo in China were shown to have attached an apparatus to the back of the peacock so that it only displays its tail for visitors who pay cash. In November, a newspaper claimed that a man who annoyed the new North Korean leader was vaporized by having a missile fired at him. Also in November, a fire station in Lanzhou city, Gansu, caught fire, forcing firefighters to flee. In December in Hong Kong, the price per square meter of car parking bays rose higher than the cost of apartments. Early portents say 2013 will be even weirder. I can hardly wait.

The writer is a columnist and journalist.
source : the jakarta post